Penis Envy

Freud tells us more about him than he says of us.

“You don’t say? And this is what you think is important? Very interesting you brought that up in the conversation so many times…” I could see me conveying to him as he lays on the leather couch in my study.

But the audacity of the female to be better than you


for that is a blow to the psyche of man

you shall never recover from.

All that without a cock?

How is this possibly without this great and wondrous thing

in which all life revolves around?

Dr. Sigmund Freud

Dr. Sigmund Freud whom it is believed loved cigars more than women. Always a cigar in hand!


God is the Greatest Magician of All

Though it is widely thought

that thoughts are under your control


where do they go when you aren’t thinking them?

where do they go sometimes when you go to look for them?


and moments pass

maybe hours

maybe days

the thought

whatever you forgot

still not there

then it magically


out of nowhere!


How is this possible

no one apparently ever bothered to ask

or thought that


the arriving of life

from nothing


was the source

and such an intricate complexity

as life itself

with all the different parts that all work

chalked up only

to random chance


complexity of this level

all following some basic blueprints

leads me to believe

it is more purposeful than just which ever way the lincoln logs fell

and it is also the same entity

as it keeps following the same plan

over and over

starting with the same basic materials


if it were so easy for the logs the fall just the right way

the molecules to align

then wouldn’t life exist elsewhere?

wouldn’t our planet itself have more chances than just the one

which we now believe all life came originally from


multiple origins of many types of organisms?


and why is it that when you are thinking

that thought that you forgot

that all your other thoughts



into thin air?

For where do they go

you take it for granted

they will be right back


Just around the corner were they?


The problem with this is that you


take for granted

that trillions of bytes of information

are automatically just stored in your head

but God gives you whatever it wants back

not what you want

this is why some kids don’t do well in school

have problems remembering information

and some people have photographic memory

these things are independent of the biological medium

the brain, the eyes, the ears, for most are the same

it is the playback of this information that God gives you

(how else are you to store so much in a brain that is 99% chimpanzee

and have come so extraordinarily far just in the last 400 years in terms of thought and knowlege

while your genetic makeup has remained unchanged from the days you were banging two rocks together)

sometimes this playback is excellent

sometimes it doesn’t even exist at all

“in one ear, out the other” it is called


and though it is widely thought

that thought controls your actions

all people experience a phenomenon

in which they speak before thinking at all

often later regretful

especially if this conflicts with the sense of morality they think they possess


for a little while as a kid I had a stuttering problem

that just appeared out of nowhere

my mom told me to think about what I was going to say

before I said it

and I did for a while

but really it is more of a simultaneous process

in which life happens

and there is the illusion of control as well as the familiar pattern you fit into

and you just talk

you don’t really think about it

most of the time

(look closely at your own responses especially to other people’s questions- often this is very automated really)


And if I tell you to imagine

a bowl of chocolate ice cream

on a sunny day

and how it would taste

can you?

But does the bowl of ice cream exist in reality?


Why is it that songs get stuck in people’s heads

who are totally tone deaf

and can’t hold a beat on their own?


But no

thoughts do not just magically apparate

and we haven’t just magically become extreme

innovators and creators

extraordinary dreamers

compared to the chimp

with a stick eating ants.


God is quicker than the eye

for this is how fast a thought moves

and through what medium?

if any to reach us?

becoming us?

but electrical in nature

it seems


And as I’ve learned with my prolonged experience first hand with God

it can put anything it wants

as your thought

don’t want to think it?

too bad.


It is not from healthy people

we have learned so much about medicine

from peace

about the human body and genome

but from the sick and injured

and when God takes over my thoughts

replacing them with things I don’t appreciate

this is certainly a form of sickness

like getting cancer

but it also tells us

how normal healthy people



God thinks nice thoughts for you

every day

never does it forget your name (unless you get amnesia or Alzheimer)

and it always remembers whose memories are whose

and yes

perhaps you should be more appreciative of what you got

totally taken for granted.

(but then it won’t take responsibility for the bad thoughts, and has had people worship a false idol- itself who is not so perfect after all- so you’re probably even-steven by not feeling/thinking anything at all about it)


If God is giving you good thoughts

and if your thoughts are not so good

people themselves really aren’t to blame

or to praise

it is just whatever rabbit the magician wants to pull out of the hat for you

sometimes a bunny rabbit

but sometimes a lion trying to eat you or others.


There really isn’t a lot of control over the entire thing

you can agree

you can disagree

and this is what most people do

agree with whatever thought God places in front of you

unless it gets to be disagreeable

then you fight it.


Common forms of disagreeable thoughts

God tortures people with

include addiction

telling people to have another drink

snort another line

puff another smoke

all the while

hurting them

God does

them blames it on them

or says it was “a disease”

but sure as hell

wasn’t God putting repetitive thoughts in your head

effectively reducing your life to nothing

thought by thought by thought

until you finally act

on what it says

even though

you know it is killing you.