No Antibiotics? But…

When I was a kid, I had the worst time with colds. I got sick as much as any other kid- which was a lot- and either me or my brother would get it first, then give it to the other. In most of the cases, my brother always got better after a while, meanwhile, I would just get worse and the cold would settle in my chest. I remember many a night coughing and wheezing with a humidifier blowing in the corner- it was a thing that happened every single winter, if not multiple times throughout the course of the school year.

Once I was so sick and my lungs so filled with phlegm that I awoke in the middle of the night, in a panic, thinking I couldn’t breathe at all. I managed to cry out though, and my Mom came and consoled me on the living room couch I was on, and that is the only thing that prevented me from hyperventilating and passing out entirely- her consoling me and telling me in that way that mother’s in the 1970’s did, before asthma inhalers were invented (or at least widely circulated).

The only way that I got out of wheezing and coughing was to go on antibiotics, time after time my brother got the same cold and got better, and I would have to see the doctor and be prescribed antibiotics. It was such a regular occurrence and bad enough, that I almost even stayed at the hospital a couple times- I remember the doctor asking if I wanted to, it was bad! Couldn’t breathe!

Finally when I was in my early 20’s I stopped getting bronchitis every time I got a bad cold, but this was after years and years and a couple really, really bad bronchitis episodes at the end that lasted months, one in which I had a broken rib for, so I really remember the excruciating torture of each cough. And finally, I just grew out of it. Or so I thought.

Now, 20 years later, I have bronchitis- that same old rasp in the left lung specifically it feels, and will not go away. My mother got the same cold, she’s fine now, but both me and my father are wheezing. I went to the doctor, but they refused to give me any antibiotics, saying that most cases of bronchitis are viral and can’t be treated by such. This was news to me. I asked for the scientific literature to back up what they were saying, because not using antibiotics directly contradicted my own observations and life experience. But they just gave me a patient info sheet on the subject.

I’ve tried to look into the scientific literature myself to see what evidence they have to support their new course of treatment- which is give you a inhaler and send you on your way without addressing any underlying issues, and it seems to be based upon this paper:

Principles of appropriate antibiotic use for treatment of uncomplicated acute bronchitis: background. Gonzales R1, Bartlett JG, Besser RE, Cooper RJ, Hickner JM, Hoffman JR, Sande MA; American Academy of Family Physicians; American College of Physicians-American Society of Internal Medicine; Centers for Disease Control; Infectious Diseases Society of America. Ann Intern Med. 2001 Mar 20;134(6):521-9.

This paper states clearly on page one that “Microbiological studies of uncomplicated acute bronchitis identify a pathogen in the minority of cases, ranging from 16% to 40%” which means that in the majority of cases- 60 to 84%, they are actually unable to locate what exactly the underlying cause is to acute bronchitis.

To me it always has seemed like a secondary infection, particularly since my brother got the same bacteria and/or viruses that I did, but I was the one who ended up not being able to breathe while he got better. I believe that this is what antibiotics was treating, the secondary infection which is also why my spit would turn different colors and taste funny even. Because I had an INFECTION.

But let’s go back to the science and the literature and why they will no longer treat my lung infections with antibiotics.

Diagnosis and Treatment of Acute Bronchitis, ROSS H. ALBERT, MD, PhD, Hartford Hospital, Hartford, Connecticut Am Fam Physician. 2010 Dec 1;82(11):1345-1350.

In the very first table in this paper it states that the evidence rating for “Antibiotics should not be used routinely for the treatment of acute bronchitis” is a B. It states in the table “B = inconsistent or limited-quality patient-oriented evidence” which says that there really isn’t a whole lot of evidence to back up antibiotics not being used.  This paper also states, “The causative pathogen for bronchitis is rarely identified. In clinical studies, identification of the causative pathogen occurs in less than 30 percent of cases.” Which again means that in over 70% of the cases, they don’t actually know what caused it. Just saying it is a virus and not prescribing antibiotics to a person who will continue to be incapacitated by illness is really not adequate when the science says you don’t actually know what you are dealing with/talking about.

Ahhhhh, heeeeehhhhhhhemmmmmm!!! Excuse me!!!!


When you do things not based upon science- like actual observations and data- but based upon your prejudices then people don’t really get the help they might need, but it certainly is like being in the middle ages without any medical treatment at all. Except we have inhalers now, so if I start hyperventilating because I think I can’t breathe, at least I have that to fall back on. Without that many a doctor might find they have lawsuits on their hands too, but I guess if you provide temporary relief without even dealing with or knowing what the cause is- that is enough “science” for medicine these days. Sad. No evidence to back them up whatsoever.


The Guillotine

the guillotine

the guillotine

the guillotine

is in the square

they chop

they chop

they chop

off people’s heads there


If you don’t want to end up getting your head chopped off or want to watch

it is as simple as not going to “the square”

(surrounding yourself with others)

thus avoiding the whole situation.





Sometimes It Just Burns

Fire Start near Monitor and Sleepy Hollow Bridge

Fire Start near Monitor and Sleepy Hollow Bridge

Where I come from in the rural western US there are inevitably wildfires every summer to contend with. But in the last few years they seem to be greater in number, longer lasting, and more intense. Yesterday’s fire (June 28th, 2015) began near Monitor Washington, a small chimney of smoke I spotted early in the day, but didn’t worry too much. So unconcerned and used to fires I am, I decided to drive up to my friend’s house in the upper valley, past a wall of flame that was only stopped by the road and the river. On my way back I took these photos.

Air support flying over the fire.

Air support flying over the fire near Monitor outside of Wenatchee.

Fire Crews heading towards Wenatchee from Monitor

Fire Crews heading towards Wenatchee from Monitor area.

Fire heading into Wenatchee, photo looking South into Wenatchee from Easy Street.

Fire heading into Wenatchee, photo looking south into Wenatchee from Easy Street.

Chunk of fire debris that rained down all over town- exploding from one fruit warehouse only to ignite another downwind.

A chunk of fire debris that rained down all over town (photo taken the next day)- exploding from one fruit warehouse only to ignite more buildings downwind.

From a safe distance across the river I watched the Wenatchee firestorm- these are some of the photos taken with a tripod.


The crowd was out in full force to watch the show with me, many evacuees from their homes and worried workers of the fruit packing warehouses.


Flying chunks of exploding material can be seen in this photo which ignited other buildings, spread by the wind that seemed to kick up at just the wrong time.

P1210777 P1210839


“When the world ends
You’re gonna come with me
We’re going to be crazy
Like a river bends
We’re going to float
Through the criss cross of the mountains
Watch them fade to nothing
When the world ends
You know that’s what’s happening now
I’m going to be there with you somehow…” – Dave Matthews Band, When the World Ends


View from my backyard at about 11 PM. Thankfully there was a river between us and the fire.

View from my backyard at about 11 PM. Thankfully there was a river between us and the fire.

Smouldering remains the day after the fire from across the Columbia River.

Smouldering remains the day after the fire from across the Columbia River.

Mop-up of the fire the day afterward on some of the burned warehouses.

Mop-up of the fire the day afterward on some of the burned warehouses.

When Aliens Attack!

So let me get this correct.

Because you are so “smart” you invented an ATV to come up here and tear up this meadow, killing biological rarities left and right God worked on for millions of years without ever even acknowledging their existence, let alone valuing life itself, and ruined the hydrology of the entire system; and while you were here you decided to get out some guns and shot Bambi. Then I’m supposed to let you go because you are holding a beer and totally shitfaced? (i.e. it was all just for fun and you didn’t know nothin’)


And you don’t want to talk, is this right? You want to just go on your merry way without thought let alone personal reflection upon your actions? CLASSIC!


Says “US” not just you last I looked.

Class Warfare

On a hill in my elementary school yard

I almost started a war

it was close

see, long ago these things are decided

at a very early age

it was us nerds against the popular, athletic and good looking

with Gary

my next door neighbor who was frequently

locked out of his own house

because his parents couldn’t even stand him

as my 2nd in command

talk had been escalating for weeks

with me scaring the boys just because I had a hand-me-down shirt from my brother that said, “Kemmerer Wrestling” on it

I, of course, told them I knew all about wrestling

and had been in the team even!

Boy, were they going to get it!


The day of our rumble

with the class boys (and me) almost evenly divided

between the Haves and the Have-nots

my 4th grade teacher pulled me aside

and said there wasn’t going to be any of that

and I had to stay in for detention during recess the rest of the week


I was actually relieved someone told the teacher

we would have undoubtedly gotten our asses kicked anyway

in that day and age before semi-automatics

and video games that teach you how to fire them upon others.

My Elementary School

Today all the shrubs are gone from that hill and some trees

our battle was to occur at

they put a fence around the entire yard in the hopes of making it more secure

almost immediately someone stuck a pipe bomb in the fence

and with so many other school incidents

security is tight

there isn’t even a hiding place to conspire now

but I’m more afraid for the kids now than ever

the shrubs and trees being missing, the fence being there, eyes that always watch don’t help

its just scarier and adds to the atmosphere of siege

this feeling of waiting for something inevitably more horrible than the last sets in…


Did you know we are supposed to be LEARNING something from God here? That is why I was sent here.

But you don’t listen. You don’t learn.

You think I’m beneath you.

You think you are superior to me.

That’s what I learned from the psychologists who never would listen or take what I was saying seriously to the religious people who just kept saying only their word is right to the young skateboarders who weren’t even born when I started skateboarding who don’t even think I’m worth taking a picture of, even though I might happen to be the only woman to show up to ride in 1/2 marathons and try to slide really steep hills, let alone at my advanced age of 40 and can only put me down and call me names.

For my word is worthless, my image is worthless, and the amount that I have suffered and died for your problems (for your sins=because you FUCKED UP) is worthless and I am an utter wretch to even suggest that you should go out of your way to HELP me out so that I could be able to help you.

This is what I’ve gotten from you lately.

You wouldn’t help Jesus because you’re only looking for a hand out yourself, so therefore you don’t get SHIT. Get the fuck out of here losers and don’t come back until you can VALUE other people’s lives more. See, I only help GOOD people who help others, not bad people who only PRETEND to care. There’s a big difference between saying it and doing it in practical application isn’t there?

I verily only reflect what I’ve been served. If you don’t like it, then quit projecting such EVIL upon others. Why don’t you try to value what others say and do equally instead of placing more value upon some while others have none?

Why is it that you feel it is OK to walk away from a person and say, “they don’t matter” or “they are worthless” so that you don’t have to listen or learn? Do you feel it is OK to put others in the garbage can so you can walk away clean? See, there’s just a real problem here with EVERYONE it seems. Nazis threw away others beliefs and lives too, but you do it today under the guise of such a nice face that you aren’t even aware you are being evil. Its just “what they deserve” isn’t it? Because you’ve drawn a line between you and them you feel its OK then to throw them away? Lets take a look at that line between you and “them”, shall we?

I may have became more prejudice against the popular kids throughout school, for Jr. High and the whole lunch room scene was even worse for cliques and people being excluded and marginalized and made fun of, but I also had some very good experiences with others that made me fairly blind to such inequalities for a long time. The only reason I have problems now is not because of my prejudice, but because of others towards me, I really don’t have anything against pretty girls or dressing like one- I figure what you look like is the way you were born and what you think is cool looking is about as static as that too- very unchangeable really. Why should I be against someone for something superficial like the way they look? Isn’t that the very reason that I’ve personally been hurt by others?

Oh yes, let me pull the dagger out of my own back and stab you? Not.

Anyway, I’d kind of rather get over the whole stabby thing entirely.

One of my friends from my days in the circus is a woman who was an assistant for fire breathing and whips and did acrobatics. She was very pretty and blonde and looked very good in the skin tight outfits made to show off the feminine form- not a girl I might have normally associated with in school- but we were still friends because we hung out all the time through the circus. During the summer we traveled all over and we all had to work together- which we did and never had any issues, we just became family though everybody was different.

I also had the good fortune of being semi-talented myself at something (snowboarding) for a while, which did wonders for my self esteem as well. But lots of people never get the chance to really know anyone on the other side of the fence or even get to be one of those people for a while. There is only just you and “them”, and unfortunately that “them” part works both ways. As an underdog you see those with better fortune as “them”, and if you have better fortune the “them” is always that other you DEFINITELY are not. But the truth is that we are all very similar creatures, not very different at all.

I think about my blonde perfect friend who looked so sexily mature even at 16 who is now married to a perfectly nice fellow but has two children with extreme medical issues- its a wonder either one of them have made it- where every day is just a struggle (and triumph) and I just hope they do OK. Doesn’t really matter that I don’t have a husband and never will or any kids. If they were my kids I would want the best for them and I’m pretty sure they are getting it with their fine Mother.

Until that point in which you become them and they become you (or could be) then we will perpetually be taking sides. But I just as easily could have been you or you me if God would have had you be created as such. Its not by choice though and we certainly shouldn’t fight each other over such things or dispose entirely of people’s lives. Could have been the “coolest” but instead you were just some dude at Goodwill who tries so hard to say the right thing at the right time but instead all that comes out is, “thhspppp yellow horn shooooop!”

Don’t be a hater.

Just because God gave you more doesn’t mean you DESERVED it. No one deserves to go around saying, “thhspppp yellow horn shooooop!” if you actually have something to say to someone else, particularly a cute girl you are trying to impress. NO ONE.

Compassion is key! Try it!

ugly6 Just think, God could have done this to you! Have mercy!

Or you could be made like this:


Why hate because of what God gives to you (or doesn’t)?

Which of these pulls the trigger on these school shootings? Is it the sentiment against the ugly person, or the sentiment against the beautiful person who “has it all”?

It’s hard to see people equally I know, but maybe if you practice at it, you’ll get it and we can ALL stop being prejudice.

Art ate my heart and spit out this crap

After being unable to express what I believe and feel through the standard methods of using language and speaking I’m trying to use art.

Funny thing is that I’m here to protest my story being prostituted for money- a fact you’re at a complete failure to get- so if I was a “sucessful” artist- would I not become the very thing that I came to protest about?

It verily is a form of madness within itself- over 100 works since I started a couple months ago:

paintings 004 paintings 009 paintings 014

God says to me, “Build me an ark.”

I told him, “You didn’t pay me for the last job I did for you, how am I supposed to afford the materials for an ark?”

“Its an analogy.”

“To what?”

“A flood, did you already forget what boats are for? I gave you an education this time around, and is not 67 feet of paper made from Mulberries so fine Moses with his papyrus would have been envious being shipped from as we speak? What more do you want? Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci didn’t have as fine of paint as what you have either, and your ink is in every way as black and smooth and permanent as the best Chinese calligrapher could dream! I’ve also given you plenty of information to work with- like everything that is known about everything without even having to go to a library for it, and statistics on reality so we need not go by hearsay any information or be mislead by politics.”

So I build I suppose, they all think I’m crazy and will not listen, but God says someday your barren deserts in which no amount of effort will make even a single seed sprout- shall become a bounty with lakes and rivers and reeds and birds and fish, and food- glorious food again! But you surely do need a better instruction manual than the ones currently in use that contains more up to date and useful information as well as analysis as to what has already been said/happened when such times become fertile for such and your ear is open. Its so tough to admit that someone else knows more than you isn’t it? I think at least a book should be devoted to the analysis of your ego. When was it that you came to believe you were God itself again? Not any worship of false idols or anything going on in those selfie shots is there? But you know it all huh? Sure, sure, you do…

Your attitude isn’t helping me very much actually- I’m really thinking about leaving your sorry asses on this planet where your greed and narcissism as well as callousness towards others suffering will obviously lead to everyone’s unfortunate demise- YOUR planet will be destroyed and YOU will be to blame. The end.

Take this job and shove it- I ain’t working here no more!

And if God meant for me to be listened to- wouldn’t it have at least given me some talents or skills or good looks or at least charisma since everything is just a popularity contest? Oh well, good riddance.

I know you’ll never listen no matter how many colors I paint it in, no matter how clever the examples I use, it will never ever be good enough for you! That is what I’ve certainly learned during the course of my lifetime.

I drown.

The paint won’t wash that away.

I’m just waiting for my house to burn down.

Then I will truly have nothing, just as God wants it.

All gone.

All destroyed.

All hope flew away on ashes, on smoke.

So much potential.

All gone.

Only bad people

selfish ones

live here now

where did all the good people go?

when you make a million saying that

but never get you were dancing in the blood

the blood

the blood

To Plead the 5th

“One cannot be compelled to be a witness against oneself,” the 5th amendment to the US Constitution states.


“You have the right to remain silent” is sounding like the warning that comes with movies: “Any likeness to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

Upside down star

Let’s think about this shall we?

If one were, say compelled to be a witness against oneself, we’d get all the murderers and child molesters off the streets in one fell swoop, and bring home many of the milk carton kids- or at least allow their parents to have closure, now wouldn’t we? I mean, if its left up to someone else to clean up your shit for you we’re never going to catch the Jeffrey Dahmer’s and pimps. But what can compel people to turn themselves in?

See, if you ACCEPT God creates all and ultimately manipulated you into doing bad things to others, it becomes easier to be truthful about it, because you no longer feel it is all your fault and you have to save just your own ass.

Also if you ACCEPT God creates all and ultimately manipulated others into doing bad things to others, if becomes easier to be nicer to people and more compassionate, which in turn, will make them more likely to turn themselves in- knowing they will receive fair and just treatment at your hands- hopefully. Its called “forgiveness”- heard of it? Comes from knowing God itself.

Don’t shelter the Devil aka God itself when it does bad and mistreats you so therefore you mistreat others. If you ain’t thinking right, it isn’t necessarily your fault and you could be just God’s latest victim to blame when it manipulates you into hurting others. Recognize the warning signs and get on a better path! Turn the asshole in before it kills and after!

Don’t keep blaming yourselves for your “father’s” abuse!  It’s abusive within itself!!!

Save the future Robin Williams’ of the world today and admit whose fault his death is: