Sleepless in Seattle? (I should have stayed asleep!)

So after a lifetime of being single, all the while coming up with a million excuses for why and blaming the local social scene- which is pretty non-existent considering I don’t drink or go out much- I’ve given up and have been trying to find a man online. I’m 40 and too damn cheap to go out much, even if there were a decent place to go, and it is just easier to cook at home and play my guitar with my dog at my feet than drive around town and hang out at Applebees. But after a while it wears on you and you just have to think there is more to life, and particularly after reading some books on the female orgasm and exploring some on my own- I absolutely knew there was! But I needed a partner to enjoy it with.

So begins string of awkward incidences that I call someone else’s for once in which my slight misgivings about my own features, age, being unemployed and even serious mental illness become dwarfed and I consistently have this feeling of WTF???

Yes, this is how I became single. This is how I remain as such.

This young fellow's name is Ignacio btw. Also likes walks on the beach.

This young fellow’s name is Ignacio btw. He also enjoys walks on the beach and puppies.

Sometimes I really wonder if they are joking when they use the pictures. Like this one. That's great that he's a mechanic but was the insecticide box in-between you and the lens necessary? What kind of bugs are we talking about?

Sometimes I really wonder if they are joking when they use some pictures. Like this one. That’s great that you’re a mechanic but was the insecticide box in-between you and the lens necessary? What kind of bugs are we talking about?

There really is such a thing as feeling too lucky as this guy proves. What up Slick?

There really is such a thing as feeling too lucky as this guy proves. What up Slick?

Why are you going to use a photo that is 4 years old but then of you at a grave? Its weird buds and is a reminder that you probably won't do much in your life to be remembered for.

Why use a photo that is 4 years old and of you at a grave? Its weird buds, and it’s a reminder that you probably won’t do much in your life to be remembered for.

Now being 40 years old, I thought I was way too old for younger men in their early 20’s and even teens, but no, turns out there is an entire category called the MILF- short for Mother I’d Like to Fuck. As soon as you reach a certain age men apparently assume- particularly the younger ones- that you know more than they do about sex. Most of us women, though we get older, have only been around you men all our sexual lives (who didn’t know a damn thing) so it doesn’t matter how many times you go in and out, we still don’t know shit unless we’ve picked it up from somewhere other than the bedroom. Like Amazon.com. To blame man for never finding a clitoris or giving a woman an orgasm is probably incorrect given this very general nature of man- even at their grandest of egos in life they are willing say they don’t know it all and are willing to learn- and all this time it was woman who was not doing enough exploration and communication of her own.

Welcome to the 21st century of online dating!

Welcome to the 21st century of online dating! This thing called sexting I’d heard of, but apparently it is fairly standard practice these days to send pics of your body parts off to total strangers for pre-inspection! Better than Chippendale’s sometimes for us lonely gals at home, but seriously guys. Nothing like being 26 and fueled by pure lust is there? Good to look at but the reality is I’m never THAT horny.

Men seem so completely capable of cutting their genitalia off from the rest of life and reality and being unconcerned about anything but the present moment. It really is a step closer to animals to be so caught in the moment- without strings and a thought of future, past, or other obligations to human beings on this planet- and undoubtedly is a heavy contributor to the number of unplanned children born every year without proper resources that can take care of them.

And the market is growing on such NSA- No Strings Attached- relationships it seems. Out of the closet it is- these relationships that people have always had- but would have been called callous or a slut for- now is just common fair. For there are exponentially more ads on Craig’s list every day for casual relationships than long-term ones in big cities as well as throughout the country, with everyone and their brother willing to sign up for the orgasmic benefits of having another person in their life, but nothing more than that.

For we live in a day and age of self-indulgence in which people want all the benefits to something, but none of the drawbacks. But most things worth keeping are a game of give and take- such as marriage- and work too! Things in which people are unwilling to do- they only want to sign on “for the better” portion, and not “the for worse” of marriage or just relationships in general. The long term consequences of this is that everyone will grow old alone, and have no one to take care of them when they are sick or injured. Children will have only a parent, not two, and only the one who is physically obligated as such, and even then… questionable. I mean, that is where that ROAD leads to right? What kind of a reality is that to live in? Cold cold hearts these days. No one cares & everyone is in it to win it for themselves.

This guy is a rockstar- in his own mind like so many others today. Don't even need a hit record or $$ to be completely selfish!!! But O so sexy!!

This guy is a rockstar- in his own mind like so many others today. Don’t even need a hit record or $$ to be completely selfish!!! But O so sexy!!

Did I say no? Well, I meant it.

 

 

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